Releasing the Butterflies

by K. Kris Loomis in Personal

I was recently asked to be a guest on a well-respected podcast. Podcasts have become quite popular over the past few years and they are an excellent way for someone to get his or her message or product out there to people who wouldn’t know they existed otherwise.

I was thrilled! I was honored! I was…petrified.

What makes this story somewhat funny is the theme of the show revolves around how people face and conquer their fears. Oh, boy.

The closer the day of the interview got the more butterflies appeared in my stomach, flitting here and there with the occasional backflip for emphasis. How was I going to get on a podcast and talk about facing my fear when I was scared out of my wits to be on the podcast to begin with?

I have never felt comfortable speaking to small groups, and I’ve never enjoyed being interviewed. Ironic, since I have been on the theatre stage more times than I can count. But the difference is, when I’m on stage, it’s not really me up there. It’s a character I can hide behind. She can do the talking. She can do the interacting. She can be confident and sure of herself.

You see, I am a classic example of an introvert. I prefer quiet reflection and introspection over interaction with large groups. I don’t like small talk and avoid conflict like the plague. I crave solitude and am quite happy rolling around in my own imagination. I love reading, playing the piano, practicing yoga, crocheting, solving sudoku puzzles, all solitary activities, you’ll notice. One reason I write is because I can be alone while I do it.

Maybe now you can understand my apprehension heading into this podcast.

The Big Day

The morning of the interview arrived and my butterflies numbered around two hundred, give or take. All flying around bumping into each other and the lining of my stomach as I tried to catch my breath.

That’s when I remembered.

Once upon a time, I HAD to learn how to speak in public to get through a job I had as a young adult. I didn’t have a choice; I needed that job. And you know what? Not only did I keep that job, I thrived in it.

Funny, how often we forget things we’ve already figured out.

So I gave myself a good talking to the morning of the interview and reminded myself that I could do this because I proved I could do it in the past. I had already set a precedent for conquering this fear years ago. I just had to remember. One by one I felt the butterflies flutter away until only a few quiet ones remained.

And, you know what? I ended up having a great time on the podcast talking about fear and how I keep it at bay. You can listen to the interview here!

Sometimes all we have to do is remember a time when we released the butterflies out into the world to remind us it’s much better to revel in their beauty than choke on their captivity.


K. Kris Loomis is the author of the humorous travel memoir, Thirty Days In Quito: Two Gringos and a Three-Legged Cat Move to Ecuador. She also writes adult parables and short stories as well as books about yoga and meditation. Kris is a determined chess player, an origami enthusiast, a classically trained pianist, and a playwright. She lives in South Carolina with her husband and two cats.

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4 Responses to “Releasing the Butterflies”

  1. Marianne says:

    So glad you had a good time on the podcast! It reminded me of myself. I was asked about 3 years ago to be on a podcast and I didn’t do it because……. The usual, silly reasons: I have an accent. I don’t know enough. Nobody wants to hear what I have to say. You know, the stories we tell ourselves.
    Now, I am a podcast host and producer and am loving it. Lots (well, not millions) people are listening and apparently can understand what I am saying and come back for more.
    Maybe, you will come on our podcast as well. It’s fun, you know!

  2. great post. The presence of fear does not mean we cannot overcome it and be that person we know we can be. I’m glad it came before your podcast, it showed us its just for us to make up in our minds to do it anyway no matter how large or small the fear that presents itself to us and remember that we did it before and so we can again.

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